Tags
Brett Kavanaugh, Christine Blasey Ford, Creation accounts in the Bible, Equal Rights Amendment (ERA), Equal rights for girls and women, International Day of the Girl Child, Sexual assault, Sexual predators, U.S. Supreme Court
Brett Kavanaugh sworn in to the U.S. Supreme Court – October 6, 2018
Photo Credit: The Press Democrat
Despite sexual assault allegations, on October 6, 2018, Brett Kavanaugh was sworn in to the U.S. Supreme Court. His contentious nomination process before the male-dominated Senate Committee hammered home the gnawing reality: Women have yet to achieve equal footing with men under our legal system.
To achieve what may have been a lifelong ambition, Kavanaugh exposed his “two spirited daughters” to the public bashing of his integrity. Has he used the sexual allegations – which he has denied with tears and anger – as a teaching moment for his ten- and thirteen-year old daughters? Has he considered the possibility that his daughters could one day suffer the same trauma as his accuser, Christine Blasey Ford?
Ford did not tell her parents what had happened that summer day while she was out with trusted friends. Like so many of us born female, she kept the sexual assault a secret.
When the young man at the neighborhood corner shop put his hand in my panties, I did not tell my mother. I was afraid of getting licks (flogged). I was around seven years old, the eldest of five siblings. I don’t remember the day or time. I don’t remember what my mother had asked me to buy. I remember that the shop was closed for business and that I went around to the back entrance – in full view of the police station on the other side of the street. The owner was not around; only his assistant. I followed him into the dark interior where he lifted me onto the shop counter.
I also remember details of every incident of sexual harassment and attempted rape I have suffered over the years. The latest incident of sexual harassment occurred in April, around 2:00 p.m., while I was waiting at a bus stop.
“[M]ale and female He created them,” says the author of the first account of creation in the Bible (Genesis 1:27). Then, in the second account of creation, another author – asserting the subjugation of the female – added that God created the woman from a rib of the man: “to make a suitable partner for him” (Genesis 2:18).
Obtaining equal rights for girls and women, after centuries of male domination, demands persistent struggle. In 2011, the United Nations declared October 11 the International Day of the Girl Child, “to address the challenges girls face and to promote girls’ empowerment and the fulfilment of their human rights.” In her October 11th article, South African blogger, Kavita Ramlal, reminds us of the continued plight of our girl children worldwide and the action each one of us can take to make a difference.
In the United States, activists continue the struggle to have the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA) – passed in the House and Senate since 1972 – added to the American Constitution. (Learn why we need the ERA.) Until then, the male sexual predator can be awarded the power to make and rewrite laws that determine the human rights of the female.
I vividly remember your story the night you were left alone with the driver after a party in 1980. Thank God that police officer answered your cry for help.
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I still shake all over and get cold sweat when I remember that night.
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I am so sorry that you had to endure what happened… there is no law, no ideology that can justify the treatment you, and many others, had to deal with… unfortunately there is an element of the human race that has not evolved from their caves yet… it may be slow in coming but with today’s technology more and more are able to make their voice known, more and more can connect with others and become united for a cause… change is in the winds… 🙂
“No one can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending” Maria Robinson
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Thanks, Dutch. Change is in the winds, but the winds remain fierce.
Your quote is spot on and rich with wisdom. Women who survive sexual assault are making new endings every day.
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It makes me wonder just how many men I know have committed these vile acts. It’s the same feeling I have about wife beaters (I know one at least) and men who are paedophiles. Why are so few people normal and decent anymore?
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John, I believe that our societies have become so complex that we-humans are unable to adapt to constant change. The female and other vulnerable members (not protected by the law) of our society become punching bags for disenfranchised males.
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Reblogged this on Guyanese Online.
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Thanks for sharing, Cyril. Have a great week 🙂
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Pingback: “Male and female He created them”
Thanks for sharing, GuyFrog 🙂
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I recall a conversation with a devout Christian some years ago. They were surprised to learn that both men and women have the same number of ribs (24, or 12 pairs). I suspect that misogynist and would-be rapist Brett Kavanaugh still clings to the biblical Adam’s rib story.
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Kavanaugh is a privileged white elite male who appears to hide behind religious respectability. Does he believe in the Adam’s rib story? Maybe. But his record as a teenager and his performance during the hearing reveal a man who views the female as his plaything and tool.
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Absolutely. BTW, I was being facetious about the Adam’s rib story to make a point about the patriarchal culture Kavanaugh comes from.
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It’s just another take-off on the Athena springing full grown from the forehead of Zeus – typical patriarchal stories that insist women have to be inferior to men since either the first, or the wisest, came from a male.
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People like to sweep these things under the carpet. I Hate That. I was not so lucky and still today, I’m so grateful for a decent husband.l💞🤗
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You have, indeed, been fortunate, Kavita. The decent men that walk among us make this world a better place. We need more of them in critical leadership positions.
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Very honest and open as always Rosaliene. My heart grieves when I hear such stories as yours. Sometimes I am ashamed to be male.
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Thanks for sharing, Denzil. As I’ve mentioned to Kavita at Sunshinysa, we need more decent men like you in leadership positions.
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I can certainly identify with your experiences, Rosaliene, especially the shame that makes it impossible to tell your parents. It’s easier to run away from home. I was very lucky a very perceptive (male) sheriff who took me into custody recognized the problem and addressed it with my parents.
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Thanks for sharing, Dr. Bramhall. We can both consider ourselves lucky that help was at hand, when needed.
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As long as you are within a civilization entirely founded on the principles of the patriarchy that’s how long women will dream of equality only to be pushed back, mocked, abused and worse. Our entire written history is based on the empowerment of the patriarchy and the deliberate disempowerment of women and of the “poor” – for we must always link every form of overt injustice. The Western powers experienced two major revolutions that should have given women equality under state law: the French and Russian revolutions. In fact they made so little difference we may as well admit they accomplished nothing in that respect. My point is, and will always be, that the “fault” if blame must be attached, belongs to man’s civilization. Insist on saving it or patching it up or making little changes to the decor here and there and know that you are actually working to strenghten and maintain your worse enemy.
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As your own example suggests, the wife of the abuser (aka their daughter’s mother) will frequently either disbelieve the daughter’s account or turn away from any evidence. In the case of physical abuse, whether to a son or daughter, the spouse will perhaps try to coach the child in how not to incense the abuser. The spouse, of course, is often the target of the violent abuser as well. I heard these stories so often they lost their element of surprise, but never their awfulness. I’m sorry you too have had to suffer in this way, Rosaliene.
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Dr. Stein, thanks for sharing your wide experience on this issue as a retired psychotherapist. As you’ve observed, our mothers can be our worse enemy when we most need them.
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I’m sincerely sorry for the assaults and abuse you have suffered. I wonder if there’s a girl/woman alive who has not been touched wrongly. I’m 66, the subject is so depressing to me–as I have stories too–and there seems little real justice, recompense. I hold tight to God’s promise that HE will be our Vindicator–HE is my hope and joy, my salvation and a strong fortress to run into when life is way too hard to manage. May HE bless you abundantly ❤
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DL, thanks for dropping by and sharing your thoughts. There is, indeed, little real justice or recompense for victims of sexual abuse. May you, too, be richly blessed ❤
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Thank you 🙂
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Thank you for your courage always and here, sharing about the sexual assaults you suffered. Such clear memory reminds us how lasting the trauma is. It’s hard to believe how far we’ve come in some ways and how slow progress is in this area of equality. Even though Jesus was way ahead of his time in planting seeds that women and children are not property to be used, it’s disturbingly hard for some people to shake that archaic idea.
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Thanks, JoAnna, and thanks, too, for sharing your insights. Entrenched beliefs are difficult to shake.
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Just as our President has seemingly made it okay to be bigoted, Kavanaugh’s appointment and the tolerance of sexual assault by some have made it okay that women continue to struggle with equality. I believe our gender needs to be louder and louder in voice and action in an effort to be heard, and to encourage the good, brave men to take up our cause as well.
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Mary, thanks for dropping by and sharing your vision. I agree that we also need “the good, brave men to take up our cause.”
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thank you for expressing
what is on many heart, Rosaliene!
wishing you calm moments
to be nourished by something
beautiful 🙂
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Thanks, David ❤
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I am a man, and I would love to see the day that the ERA passes in the US and when women are given equal power and representation in government, business and all facets of our society. My heart goes out to you hearing this story. I experienced something along those lines and the healing process never ends, but it gets better with time.
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Thanks for dropping by and sharing your thoughts. We’ve a long way to go yet for gender equality.
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I first found out about this hearing at the VA. The other veterans sitting next to me were all talking about what they were watching on the VA’s televisions. I asked a veteran sitting next to me what the commotion was all about. She briefly explained what was happening. That day was Kavanaugh’s hearing. As a survivor of military sexual trauma as well as childhood sexual abuse, I was in shock. Most veterans I know are republicans or moderates, though some of them are a good mix of democrats and other parties. That day, there was a good mix of arguments among veterans, though I didn’t have enough information to judge. I simply listened. A few days later, I watched both hearings, or whatever they called it. I listened to Dr. Ford’s testimony, and I listened to Judge Kavanaugh’s testimony. I tried to remain impartial, but my heart leaned toward Dr. Ford. I wondered if I was biased because of my own history with victimization, so I tried my hardest to be objective when hearing Judge Kavanaugh’s testimony. I tried to understand him. But the more I tried, the more compelled I felt toward Dr. Ford. Somehow I knew before it happened that Judge Kavanaugh would win. That week was a turning point for me, and realization for why I didn’t feel comfortable at my job at the time. Not too long ago, I worked with all republicans. It was painful for me to attempt to “unbiased” in matters such as these, as well as other policy-related matters concerning funding for traumatized children. I tried my hardest to be rational and objective while working in an environment with strong republicans. I tried to see both sides of every argument. I even began seeing my own flaws and shortcomings – to the point where I began to doubt my intelligence, sanity, and aforementioned diagnoses. Perhaps I was gaslit so many times by others in power that I negated how much I related to Dr. Ford and her pain. I felt what she felt, and I wanted to give her a hug and tell her how much hope she brought to all of us sexual assault survivors. I wanted to find strength from watching that hearing. But I felt weakened when society, again, blames and/or doubts the victim, and when society allows perpetrators to get away with their crimes. I tried so hard to reason the other way, that I, too, began doubting Dr. Ford. Sadly, I even began doubting myself – my own diagnoses and misdiagnoses, as well as my own sanity. Being a victim of gaslighting by so many people is retraumatizing. Watching that hearing and then its outcome was retraumatizing. Hearing our own president make fun of the victim was retraumatizing. I wound up quitting my job. I couldn’t handle the jokes, the eye rolls, and the disdain for women who were overpowered by men. I couldn’t handle their nonchalant attitudes. I couldn’t handle my own forms of mentalization about what others’ body languages were saying when they appeared to side with the perpetrator. As a survivor, I wanted to see justice, hope, and strength. Since 2017, I’ve mourned the loss of equality that I once believed our nation was headed toward. I may be an independent moderate, but I feel hurt and retraumatized by some (not all) republicans who gaslight survivors while turning a blind eye to perpetrators. Thank you for posting this, Rosaliene. Perhaps one day I’ll feel brave enough to take a side and a stand without my internalized naysayers gaslighting me all the time. Perhaps one day I’ll be an advocate.
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Thanks for sharing your story.
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I’m in total agreement. Male toxic masculinity is the result of fear and hatred of the feminine, which exists within both sexes (humans all begin as female). It’s the age old repression of what the ruling class fears. Females are creators, instead of revering them as goddesses the patriarchal cultures demonized females to be slaves/servants/scapegoat for sin. Your stories are heartbreaking, I’m sorry you had to experience sexual predators, I did too. You’re brave and strong.
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Thanks, Judy, and thanks for dropping by and sharing your thoughts on this issue ❤
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You’re welcome Rosaliene❤
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