Monthly Archives: July 2023

The Writer’s Life: Writing About Uncomfortable Subjects

30 Sunday Jul 2023

Posted by in Guyana, The Writer's Life

≈ 82 Comments

Tags

, , , ,

Natasha Houston and her mother at home in Zeelgult. In 2013, Houston’s husband killed their two children, slashed her arm and hand, then died, apparently by suicide.
Photo Credit: KPBS (Williams Rawlins for NPR)

As I shared in my May 23rd post on getting my creative mojo back, I have resumed work on my writing project about women of agency. Revision of the completed draft of Part One, set in Guyana, is steadily moving forward. I struggled with Chapter Two: The Violence of Men.

When I first presented this chapter to my writers’ critique group in August 2019, I discovered that it was an uncomfortable subject for the male members of our group. I could see the rage in the eyes of my writing friend seated directly across from me on the other side of the table.

“I’m not a violent man,” he told me, struggling to restrain his anger. “I defended my mother against our psychotic father… I protected her.”

Taken aback, I said: “I’m speaking in general terms.”

Another male member of our group was more measured with his response: “Rough content, but so is life.”

Guyana’s First National Survey on Gender-Based Violence, launched in November 2019, revealed that more than half (55%) of all women experienced at least one form of violence. More than one in ten had experienced physical and/or sexual violence from a male partner in the previous 12 months. One in every two women in Guyana has or will experience Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) in their lifetime. Moreover, one in five (20%) women has experienced non-partner sexual abuse in their lifetime; thirteen percent (13%) experienced this abuse before the age of 18.

We live in a world still dominated by the heterosexual male. All men are not violent. All women are not nurturers. I’m considering changing the Chapter heading to “Violence as Humanity’s Default System.” What do you think?

Continue reading →

“Broken Strings” – Poem by American Poet Mark Tulin

16 Sunday Jul 2023

Posted by in Poetry, United States

≈ 47 Comments

Tags

, , , ,

American Poet Mark Tulin
Photo Credit: Amazon Author Page


My Poetry Corner July 2023 features the poem “Broken Strings” from the poetry collection Awkward Grace: Poems (USA, 2019) by Mark Tulin, a poet, humorist, and short-story writer. The following excerpts of poems are all sourced from this collection.

Born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, he attended the Pennsylvania State University where he studied psychotherapy, specializing in family and sex therapy. In 2012, after practicing for over thirty years as a marriage and family therapist, he moved to Santa Barbara, Southern California. Today, he lives with his second wife, Alice, in Long Beach.

An only child, Tulin began writing poems as a teenager to cope with asthma and a dysfunctional family. His father, a fruit store owner, was charming, sociable, and rational. His mother was an independent-minded schizophrenic who “talked to herself and rarely filtered her words.” Because of his mother, he studied psychology and became a psychotherapist. “If I couldn’t fix my parents, I might be able to heal a family of strangers,” says Tulin in his author bio on Medium.

Continue reading →

Reflections on Serenity

09 Sunday Jul 2023

Posted by in Anthropogenic Climate Disruption, Human Behavior

≈ 56 Comments

Tags

, , , , , ,

Potential Record High Temperatures Across the South & Southeast – United States – June 2023
Source Map: Fox Weather

This is the third in my series of reflections on the “c-o-s-m-o-s remedy” proposed in opposition to the “ideology of e-s-c-a-p-e” by Jem Bendell in Deep Adaptation: Navigating the Realities of Climate Chaos (UK/USA 2021).

#1: Reflections on Compassion
#2: Reflections on Openness

In contrast to the habit of Control in e-s-c-a-p-e ideology, which involves thinking ‘I will try to impose on you and everything, including myself, so I feel safer,’ Bendell proposes that Serenity involves the feeling that ‘I appreciate the dignity of you, myself and all life, however disturbing situations might seem’ (p.146).

Serenity is defined as the state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled. A look at the day’s headlines suggest that we are more generally inclined to feel the very opposite: fear, dread, anguish, and anxiety. Desperate for control over our lives, we often place our faith in powerful men to save us from drowning. In America, we pass laws to restrict the rights of others for control over their bodies.

Since childhood, fear has been a constant companion. Such is the nature of domestic violence. All I could control was fear itself. In high school, I learned the “Serenity Prayer” asking God for the wisdom to know the difference between things I could and could not change, and the courage to change what was within my power to change. I did what I could to improve communication between my parents, with no observable change.

Continue reading →

California – The Final Days of Spring

02 Sunday Jul 2023

Posted by in United States

≈ 46 Comments

Tags

, ,

African ‘Lily of the Nile’ – Rosaliene’s Garden – Los Angeles – California – June 17, 2023

After an unusually wet and frigid winter, I was relieved that most of my plants had survived the deluge. A few, like the potted lime tree and croton bush, gained new life. Spring struggled to come into its own, remaining cooler than normal. The plants that flower in the spring are featured below. The captioned photo of the purple African ‘Lily of the Nile’ was the last plant to flower and is still in bloom.

The drought took a toll on the Amaryllis lilies, as shown in the photos below. This is the first spring that the stems only produced two flowers instead of four.

Amaryllis – Spring 2014
Amaryllis – Spring 2023

The yellow Calandivia succulent plant added much needed color to the garden plot in front of my apartment. I’ve had this plant for several years now and, despite the drought, it continues to bless my spring days with much needed joy. The adjacent plant pot with purple Graptoveria Debbie also added a touch of color with their star-shaped yellow mini-flowers.

Yellow Calandivia Succulent Plant – Spring 2023
Purple Graptoveria Debbie – Spring 2023

My favorite succulent rosettes, like the two plants below, all flowered this year. They have a strong not-so-pleasant scent that attracts the stray bees that visit my corner of the garden.

Aeonium ‘Kiwi’ – Spring 2023
Aeonium ‘Kiwi’ – Spring 2023

My indoor garden got a great boost this Mother’s Day with five new plants from my sons. So far, none of them have died. I keep them on top of the sideboard cupboard below my living room window where they enjoy the morning sunlight. As you will note in the photo, three of them are on the window ledge.

Temperatures are expected to rise this weekend. I’m brazing myself for the summer heat ahead. To my American readers, a Happy Independence Day!

Rosaliene’s Indoor Garden – Los Angeles – California – Spring 2023