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Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone, Divorce, Failed marriages, Gays and lesbians, Marriage Protection Amendment, Marriage redefined, Proposed Federal Marriage Protection Amendment of 2014, Same-sex marriages, State Marriage Defense Act of 2014, U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB)
Battle for Same-Sex Marriage in the USA – February 2014
Photo Credit: CBC News (Steve Helber/The Associated Press)
Since migrating to the United States, I have witnessed the redefinition of marriage from the union of one man and one woman to include same-sex couples. It was a victory for my gay brothers and lesbian sisters. But the battle is far from over. Of the fifty states of our Republic, only seventeen states and the District of Columbia allow same-sex marriages. (Learn more at the National Conference of State Legislatures website.)
In his letter of 19 February 2014, Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone, chairman of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops’ Subcommittee for the Promotion and Defense of Marriage, expressed support for the federal Marriage Protection Amendment introduced by Representative Tim Huelskamp of Kansas in the House of Representatives. “The amendment would secure in law throughout the country the basic truth known to reason that marriage is the union of one man and one woman,” wrote the Archbishop.
The Archbishop, in his letter of 28 February 2014, further endorsed the State Marriage Defense Act of 2014 introduced in the Senate by Senator Ted Cruz of Texas. The Archbishop noted: “Marriage needs to be preserved and strengthened, not redefined. Every just effort to stand for the unique meaning of marriage is worthy of support.”
The institution of marriage has evolved over the ages in keeping with the progress of humanity. In the early years of my parents’ marriage, the 1950s and 1960s, divorce was not an option. Marriage is a contract unbreakable only in death of a spouse. For over twenty years, until my siblings and I were old enough to take care of ourselves, my mother endured the verbal abuse and violence. By then, divorce had lost its social stigma.
The women’s liberation movement in the 1970s brought relief from subjugation. Women gained equal status with their marital partners. A senior high school student at the time, I decided not to marry and have children. I was not going to bring children into this world to suffer domestic abuse as I did as a child.
When the time came to reconsider marriage, I determined that I would not repeat my parents’ mistakes. My marriage would be based on love and mutual respect. Ten years later when my marriage crumbled in Brazil, I had to confront the specter of divorce. Laws designed to define and protect our rights under the marital contract turned me into a loser and a sinner. Reconciliation with my God took years.
Same-sex marriages did not destroy my parents’ marriage or my marriage. Long before same-sex couples clamored for equal rights under the law, the institution of marriage has failed to meet our needs as couples and parents. A Pew Research in 2010 revealed that 72 percent of all adults in the United States were married in 1960. This number fell to 52 percent in 2008.
Who am I to judge if my gay brothers and lesbian sisters are worthy to be joined in same-sex marriages? My marriage ended in divorce. Was I worthy of marriage?
Three Worlds One Vision 
Marriage is a difficult institution to make work, however useful it may be for our human race to survive. In the time of Shakespeare, women had no voice in who they married and no rights at all. They were the virtual property of their husbands. I’m sure there are still places like that. When marriages don’t work, there is often a sense of failure attached. Surely, I am in no position to judge you, but doubt that you are or were unworthy. As to those against same-sex relationships, it seems to me that their opposition is often a disguise for bigotry. Heterosexual relationships require no such defense. We have all witnessed how quickly attitudes on this matter are changing. I’d bet that by mid-century those who believe heterosexual marriage must be “defended” will have given up on their political efforts and be in a decided minority. Thanks for writing about this, Rosaliene.
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Thanks, Dr. Stein. Religious and civil laws governing marriage will have to change to remain relevant to our personal lives and to society as a whole. I may be long gone when the defense-for-heterosexual-marriage advocates join same-sex couples to reform the institution of marriage at its roots.
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Thank you for your wisdom and humility, Rosaliene. An empowering post.
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Thank you, Bruce.
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Reblogged this on Guyanese Online and commented:
The latest blog entry from Rosaliene Bacchus of Guyana, now residing in the U.SA
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Cyril, thanks for sharing my blog post with your readers.
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My take on this “personal” preference issue is simple.
Same sex marriages/relationships are no different to
its “normal” opposite. What I find difficult to accept is
when children enters the relationship and the influence
that can have on the innocent adolescent.
Single parent children do grow up and become dual
parent fathers/mothers but some are influenced in
their choice by their upbringing.
As this trend becomes law and its new legislation
implemented how this develops should be carefully
monitored for future legislation.
Emansipation of women (right to vote) only became
legal in 1938 in UK yet today equality in law still lags behind.
Women in parliament a minority as in most institutions.
These are all issues that won’t go away….until these imbalances
in society are addressed legally and lawfully.
My spin
Kamtan
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Kamptan, I understand your concern about children raised by same-sex couples. What about children raised by abusive heterosexual couples? Aren’t they, too, at risk.
Our concern about same-sex parents is based on the belief that our sexual orientation is socially-learned behavior. To my knowledge, homosexuality is not a choice, but has some biological origin. I found this article, “What Causes Homosexuality,” written by a lesbian.
More unbiased studies need to be done.
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All children are at risk in “relationships” and “non-relationships”
but in single parent relationships “one parent families” love and
respect is the essential influence. More difficult in dual
partnership where there is “differences” of opinions….on upbringing. That is why grandparents have a major role to play in the family.
In most developed societies grandparents do not live with or near
grandchildren or very few do….that link is lost…..especially in
major migrant societies where grandparents are not present.
It’s the fast track world we now live in…so called “developed”
world. Guess that makes me a traditionalist !
Thanks for the attachment which was interesting indeed….
In my experiences as a twin myself and father also of twins
all males my experiences is invaluable….neither my twin
or my sons are gay or have gay preferences.
I also had a gay uncle and lesbian aunt, also a gay nephew.
My nephew is one of the first non american born graduate
(Guyanese born and bred before migrating to Canada)
to qualify with PHD in physcology at Harvard.
He told me while still at Harvard on a family visit
that as a child he preferred playing with dolls than cars.
Today he is in a relationship with another gay “male”
but has no plans for “children” ….
GENETICS is a major factor in sexual orientation….society
influence a minor player if any ….the choice individual
preference. We don’t choose to be gay …we are born gay….
my conclusion.
Y and Z cromozones that determine sexuality should be an
interesting read….I read a book by Shire Hythe an american feminist
and clinical physcologist on the “choice” or “sexual orientation”
which I will read again to refresh my thinking of the subject.
I do believe that “hormones” in female and “testostorone” in
males are a major factor in our sexual orientation/preferences.
Was fortunate enough to breed wild pigs (havolin) on my farm in
southern Spain …one litter produced was 5 males and it shocked
me to observe their sexual play….known as “piggy-backing”
We never stop learning….nature teaches fools…we are but fools
in the paradise of life.
Salud kamtan
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Thanks Rosaliene for your informative article, and for bringing the sensitive topic of marriage and same-sex marriage to the platform. As we know, women have always suffered inequality and abuse in the paternal institution of marriage. Historically, both religions and cultures, as well as political systems, have mainly contributed to the perpetual subordination of women.
The tenets of the Bible clearly condemn same-sex relationships. Obviously, those of us who are Christians are divided about this sexual issue. My take is that for religion to prevail it depends on its followers. Either or both will have to make moral and ethical compromises to make same-sex relationships or marriages acceptable.
I agree that we should not judge same-sex relationship because it’s a highly personal matter. But, it certainly poses a wrenching question of conflict for those who are religious and are caught in the snare of confusion based on one’s beliefs. Should we condone or condemn same-sex relationship/marriage? That is the question.
However, what comes to mind is the biblical prediction that in the last days “men shall be lovers of men,” but then so were men in the early biblical days of Sodom and Gomorrah.
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Deen, thanks so much for your honesty about this sensitive topic. There are all types of marriages, such as polygamous unions, recorded in the Bible that the Church no longer permits in our time. Marriage was purely a civil affair until the Church deemed it a sacrament at the Council of Trent in 1563.
As a divorcee, I’m a sinner in the eyes of the Catholic Church and cannot partake in the Eucharist.
“However, what comes to mind is the biblical prediction that in the last days “men shall be lovers of men,” but then so were men in the early biblical days of Sodom and Gomorrah.” An excellent observation. Homosexuals have been with us from ancient times. The next Sodom and Gomorrah might well be the Vatican City. (See the Frontline documentary “Secrets of the Vatican.”)
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(Same sex marriages/relationships are no different to
its “normal” opposite.)
An interesting piece. Some might say its different because one is not natural.
——————————————————————————————————
Mankind is going in a direction which some find scary.
The sale of Marijuana in the country (or what ever the name) is increasingly legalized while junkies and addicts are increasingly younger.
A kid 13 and up could not buy a lotto ticket or cigarette but he could buy a rifle, in some states, no question ask.
The political climate is more polarize than ever with politicians on the right hating Obama (many believe because of the color of his skin) more than they love their country.
Man created climate change is causing havoc on the planet.
We have humans of the same sex getting married. Zero reproduction.
There is a trend here and the U.S. is leading the way.
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Albert, thanks for reading my post and sharing your concerns about where we’d headed as a species.
Zero reproduction is not one of our problems. Our planet can no longer sustain the needs of the growing population worldwide.
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And “women lovers of women” !
Religious dogma is a harsh swallow for me…hence my indifference
towards religious doctrination….originally a Roman christian in my upbringing
….today I describe religion as the “opium” of church and state….
How people behave behind closed doors is not my concerns but
seeing two men or two women “fornicating” in public can amuse
or disgust….mostly the latter.
My opinion ! my preference the opposite sex but others will differ.
But please some preferences best expressed privately !
My spin
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Kamptan, I agree with you. The private, sexual behavior of consenting adults is none of my business.
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I want to expand on something I wrote before and hope to provoke intellectual responses. I have spent much of my time pondering issues such as the purpose of life, why are we here and what are we required to do. Maybe sometime later I will share my thoughts with my Guyanese friends. I try to relate the question of gay marriage to the principles on which the universe runs. This is a large subject which I am trying here to condense. If we go to the biological world, which obviously is part of the universe, we find one of the principle features of life is replication. Whether it be human, animal or plant life scientists finds the same characteristic of the need to reproduce. Further,if we assume the physical world originated from a creator (which could be many things depending on how one define God) it seems logical that the principles on which the world operates should reflect the nature of the creator. It seems a human attachment/relationship which does not have this characteristic of life to replicate is not consistent with how the world operates.
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My thoughts re comments above…
Assuming the world originated from a “creator” is red herring…
Most accept that “man evolved” and was not created.
Scientific fact beyond all reasonable doubt….
However that does not mean “god” does not exist.
Secondly
The procreation idea may have originated in religious thinking
to expand its “membership” of its followers. Most aboriginals
including African and Indian even Arabian settlements had their own
interpretation/understanding of the “god” thing….Sun Moon etc gods.
Comes along Romans who used religion to divide and conquer
then unite to rule….do you have a god….can your god be my god.
Religion was born as result of this evolution of understanding.
Finally
We are over-reacting on the issue of gayness…..it has been with us
since time begun and will be with us till the end. It will never replace
love of the opposite sex regardless of sexual orientation…it is just a preference …more the exception than the rule…a trend like any other fad….
not to be taken seriously .
Legalising gay marriages laws will change with time as its interpretation
of the law becomes arbitory….pre-nuptial arrangements are now law.
My issue is when couples wish to have children in gay relationships
its influence on the children. Especially so in lesbian relationships
where DNA or surrogate children are possible.
Vivbla Vida my moto.
Kamtan
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I think there is a misunderstanding. Let me try again in a different way. The current scientific view is that our universe came into existence some 10-15 billion years ago as a result of a gigantic explosion refer to as the big bang theory. Our insignificant earth is one of billions of other planets in the universe. Don’t intend to offend traditional Christians who believe in the biblical version of man’s origin in Genesis but there is no clear scientific evidence on how life began. According to Evolution, on which the scientific evidence is overwhelming, life evolved from the original living thing, however it came about, branching into many different living species, over many million years, and man is one of the current end product.
Based on my knowledge of evolution, there was no original human being and the term human life is very ambiguous. There could be human life without there being a human being. Stated basically however, through our genes life adapts to changes in the environment for survival. It store food, process and store information from the genome and the environment to determine responses. Other functions include reproduction.
Years ago I found myself defending my view that some people are born homosexuals, even against a medical students who believe it was due to learnt social behavior. I still have not seen scientific evidence as to why a person of one sex would be incline, sexually or psychologically, towards a member of the same sex. My argument was based on my boyhood experience growing up with boys in my neighborhood, who could not have been pretending, considering the punishment they took. Now, because of my reading on genetics, I have no doubt it is real, but it also seem true that gay sexual relationship contradicts what evolution tells us about life efforts for survival.
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Kamtan, with reference to your comments of March 4: “GENETICS is a major factor in sexual orientation….society influence a minor player if any ….the choice individual preference. We don’t choose to be gay …we are born gay…. my conclusion.”
This is also my conclusion. We need more unbiased scientific studies in this area. If it were the case, would the powers-that-be disclose that GMOs could be affecting human genetics?
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There is not much money for scientific studies to determine the role of genes in determining sexual orientation. That is why we don’t have many unbiased reporting. The technology and expertise exists however. There are a multiple of studies and scientific developments been carried out with human genes by biotech companies with the intention of making money by finding cures for human diseases. My background is really in finance but in my retirement years the search to understand the meaning of life has led me deep into biology. I now find the knowledge useful profitably, in researching the biotech developments in pharmaceutical companies. You could see where my interest lies. The profit motive has resulted in some mysterious and marvelous things done with human, animal and plant genes. As I am sure you realize, money is usually the factor which determines what gets done.
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Abert
So you identified the motive for scientific research….money.
Why…who is the largest doners in scientific research.?
Governments or corporations or who ?
UK s puts quantum public funds into “stem cell” research one of
Tony Blairs better ideas….why …the returns from this research is
a “money spinner” … but it also helps in understanding “genetics”
that may eventually find a cure of most terminal ill patients….win win
with for mankind.
Money talks it also barks but it also bites….rabies does kill.
Money is one of the necessary evils we must adapt to if we are to survive.
Greed is also the driving force in wealth creation.
Catch 22
Salud
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Rosaliene
Agree but am sure we all have “fetishes” or “fantacies” that should
remain private…but discussing these in public does allow fora better
understanding of the human physce…behaviour.
One should keep an open mind on the subject.
I suppose !
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What a run! Enjoyed it all.
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Thanks, Angela.
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