Tags
Expectations, Friendships, Hollywood Boulevard Los Angeles, Immigrants, Mother-daughter relationship, Mother-son relationship, Under the Tamarind Tree
Rosaliene and Sons – Shopping Mall on Hollywood Boulevard
Los Angeles – October 2003
This month marks the tenth anniversary of our arrival in the United States. Before setting foot on American soil, my sons and I knew that there would be challenges to overcome. My elation at reuniting with my mother and siblings, after over thirty years of separation, lasted for only two days.
Day One: Arrival.
Day Two: Visit to Hollywood Boulevard. (Captioned photo taken that day.)
Day Three: Showdown.
My mother had expectations that I could not fulfill. Past hurts and differences found expression. You were a problem since you were three. I helped you raise your children so you could work. (I was her firstborn.)
Day Four: My mother moved out.
You don’t give me what I want, you’re on your own, her action said. I had failed my sons. I had promised them that they would have a family in the USA. Within three weeks, with my sister’s help, we found an apartment that suited our needs and purse.
In the months and years that followed, I had hard lessons to learn. I had changed. My mother and siblings had changed. We no longer shared the same values and goals. I had been naïve to believe that our companionship and love would have meaning for them.
When my sons started to work, our relationship slowly changed. I had to learn to let go of control. That did not come easy. You don’t trust us to do the right thing, they complained. I had to work at building that trust. They were no longer kids. Overnight, they had become men.
My sons have had their own individual challenges in adapting to life in the United States. I shared the joys of their early achievements: learning to drive, buying their first vehicle. One learned a trade and became an independent contractor. The other is an electronic games designer. They continue to support each other and provide for my needs. They know that I’m there for them whenever they need me.
When we left Brazil, I had no plans of becoming a writer. I began keeping a journal as a form of therapy. Over time, my writing developed into a hobby to stimulate my mind bored with the repetitive tasks of a retail job.
On my writer’s website, I share my journey as a writer. In December 2011, after four years of research and writing, I completed my first novel, Under the Tamarind Tree. The next eighteen months were spent in revisions, cutting, and polishing. I am currently seeking a literary agent.
My sons and I have forged friendships with generous and caring Americans who treat us with respect and accept us among them. Without their help and fellowship, we could not have made Los Angeles our home. For each one of my friends and my sons’ friends, I give thanks.
Congratulations to you and your sons on your 10th Anniversary in the USA.
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Thanks, Cyril.
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Reblogged this on Guyanese Online and commented:
Rosaliene Bacchus and her two sons celebrate their 10th in the USA. Guyanese Online congratulates you. Be Strong!!
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Cyril, your support is a blessing. Thanks so much for what you do in sharing my blog posts and spurring me on.
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Lovely picture! You have much of which to be proud.
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Thanks, Dr. Stein. I appreciate your kind words. It’s Americans like you that help brighten my day.
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Rosaliene,
Congratulations to you and your sons on the 10th Anniversary since your arrival in the US. As a Guyanese immigrant myself, I share your joy in celebrating this special occasion. Perhaps, your family’s story of struggle and accomplishments is another immigrant’s story of a dream come true. It seems a wonderful and inspiring journey of struggle and success.
Best wishes to you and your family for continued happiness and success in your endeavors. Also, congratulations on completing your first novel, Under the Tamarind Tree,” and good luck with its publication.
Thanks for sharing your many interesting articles and personal experiences
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Deen, thanks so much for sharing this moment with me and my sons and for your kind words and best wishes. We have had our successes, but the struggle goes on. We all live in challenging times.
Getting my novel published is a new journey into unfamiliar territory. I keep moving forward.
So glad to know that you find my articles interesting. Thanks.
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Congratulations on your 10th anniversary.Kudos to you for learning to let go of control. After 8yrs,I am still learning, with my son.Every now and then I jump in with both feet.If you did it, I will too.Your experience is inspiring,and I wish you all the best with the publication of your novel.
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Danny, thanks for your kind comments and for your best wishes. I’ll need them all to get my novel published.
Letting go of control was not easy. I had to and continue to trust that they will remember all that I taught them about life. They learn far more from our own example than we realize. We learn best, too, from trying and failing. We’ve got to give them that freedom to make their own decisions.
My sons both have it tough, for different reasons, in their given professions. I’m proud of them. They’re giving their best. What more can we ask for as parents?
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America land of the bold/brave.
Congrats….to you three for your fight for equality.
Read my other comment on Guyanese on line…
More serious with reasons for my sceptism for where USA is going…
Now a sceptimistic optimist ha ha
Kamptan
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Thanks, Kamptan.
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Dear Rosaline: Congrats on your 10th anniversary to the USA. You are blessed to have two young men in your life of worth (your sons); all praises to you for your guidance and strong parental advice, they paid attention.
Your story is an immigrant story and I am glad you shared it with us, others can tell us the same story. We now know who is the person behind the eyeglasses and under the hat. Thanks for posting the pictures and telling us your story. I will be waiting for a copy of your book when finished. Good luck in finding a publisher. Asante Sana.
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Thanks for your kind praises, Yvonne.
I had to smile at your description: “behind the eyeglasses and under the hat.” Since moving to the US, I’ve added two new items to my dress wear – hats and scarves.
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A must mention
AMERICA is a “me” and “we” society….
50-% me
50+% we
.1% rich
The rich are facing their “Waterloo” ….Obama (democrats) must fight on.
AMERICA will become a “plural” society….
All for one
One for all
My mathematical analysis
The ways I sees it
“If default happens america is free of debt” overnight…..
Owned by China and all USD major “holders” “hoarders”
My spin
Kamptan
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Thanks for your mathematical analysis, Kamptan.
If America and the rest of the world do not place the interests of ALL above the ONE, our planet is doomed to the ongoing affects of global warming. Everything else becomes meaningless.
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You must be a member of the”green” party….underdogs who make deals behind closed doors…politicians first and foremost…I despair sometimes..
Forever the everlasting optimist !
Kamptan
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I don’t belong to any party, Kamptan. Just a citizen of Planet Earth.
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very good and ambitious ,mrs bacchus. i admire your courage when the chips were down. you are a fighter. keep up the good work. glad to see your sons sticking with you .GOD BLESS.
CARL
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Thanks, Carl.
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YOU ARE MOST WELCOME. GOD BLESS
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Rosaline
Citizen of planet earth…and USA.?….Do you “fly the flag” of convenience….
AMERICAN passport….or r u Brazilian or Guyanese passport holder…
I carry both Guyanese and British European passports ….
both allow me dual citizenship…..I also qualify for a Spanish European one
having lived in Spain for 10+ years but would have to surrender my other
two to obtain a Spanish European one….
Spain is a signatory to the shengen agreement…Brazil and UK are not.
Is USA a signatory ?
Will check Google and come back if USA is a signatory or not.
Kamptan
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USA is not signatory at moment but suspect they will join this euro alliance
sooner than later…for obvious reasons….
Movements of US citizens across the Atlantic…tourists/business et all….
Border controls are a necessary inconvenience …but with the technology available
a suspect can be stopped from boarding the plane before departure….
before the horse has bolted….and the risk !
With air travel becoming more accessible on-line all info can be obtained
prior to journey …saving time money and energy.
Not to mention the risks with air travel…
Soon I will be able to transgress euro land (schengen) countries by high
speed rail links to most euro cities…this should hopefully reduce pollution
of the air we breathe and fares…
Forever the evertlasting optimist
Kamptan
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Congratulations Rose, to you and your sons but maybe I should say “Congratulations USA” for winning us 3 exceptional residents.
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Thanks so much, Angela. I appreciate your sentiments.
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I learned long ago that you can make your own family, and are sometimes much better because of it.
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The family is sacred in “mafiosa” …you betray the family you are
excumunicated(die) …it was (exterminated) before.
Some prefer to die for the “cause” than surrender….Muslims Christians
whatever….it is the extremes in religion that destroys the soul.
We must believe in our selves first and the rest will follow/believe in us.
Sorry if I am preaching but my convictions are strong on subject.
My 4 children and 6,grandchildren will be my legacy
They are priceless…my most valuable on the planet…family first.
Kamptan
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Thanks for sharing, Sandra.
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The blood tie can strangle when one does not conform – for me, family means the love and respect of and for others, however that tie exists and is nourished. We all share 99% of our DNA.
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